Are you (really) listening to me?

It’s a busy old world, and we are bombarded with so much information coming from many channels of communication. Much of this is one-way and we are just passive recipients. We are ‘talked at’ and it’s hit and miss whether we actually listen to and act on what we see and hear.

And that’s a very big problem, especially when you are actually speaking with someone.

I’m sure you’ve all met someone who can’t wait to talk about themselves and what they do. When you talk, they seem to tune out and if you say you’ve done something, they’ve done something similar or usually better. This maybe because they want to appear superior, or it could be because they haven’t learned how to listen.

With these people, it’s difficult to get a word in and after a while you tune out and just let them get on with it. You take little if any notice of what they are saying, and you take your leave as soon as you can. These are very irritating and boring people!

In selling there is no greater asset than listening 
Listening is the way you learn what challenges the buyer faces, and it’s how you uncover their needs and motivations to buy. But many salespeople still believe that telling their story to as many people as possible is what it takes to succeed. Where you directly interact with people in a sales situation, listening should be your number one priority.

Asking questions is the precursor to listening 
The best way to start a conversation is by asking a question. This will deliver a response that you listen to and act on. You can then either ask a qualifying question, or tell the part of your story that’s relevant to that point. 

Notice I said “relevant to that point” because that’s key. This isn’t an invitation to start a monologue, this is an opportunity to find a point of mutual interest and develop the conversation further. And the best way to do this is … you guessed it … to ask another question! Then you listen to and respond to the answer.

You maybe reading this and thinking “this is so obvious” and that’s the whole point - it is! And that’s why I’m always surprised, and a little irritated when I meet someone who obviously either doesn’t want to, or hasn’t learned how to listen.

Listening is an essential skill in any walk of life from personal relationships to the way we work with colleagues and business contacts. 

Listening is a skill that can be learned, but you must work at it. Think about how you operate. Are you really a good listener? Be honest and ask others how they rate you as a listener. 

You maybe surprised at the answer - that’s of course assuming you’ll listen to it!