It’s a busy old world, and we are bombarded with so much information coming from many channels of communication. Much of this is one-way and we are just passive recipients. We are ‘talked at’ and it’s hit and miss whether we actually listen to and act on what we see and hear.
And that’s a very big problem, especially when you are actually speaking with someone.
I’m sure you’ve all met someone who can’t wait to talk about themselves and what they do. When you talk, they seem to tune out and if you say you’ve done something, they’ve done something similar or usually better. This maybe because they want to appear superior, or it could be because they haven’t learned how to listen.
With these people, it’s difficult to get a word in and after a while you tune out and just let them get on with it. You take little if any notice of what they are saying, and you take your leave as soon as you can. These are very irritating and boring people!
In selling there is no greater asset than listening
Listening is the way you learn what challenges the buyer faces, and it’s how you uncover their needs and motivations to buy. But many salespeople still believe that telling their story to as many people as possible is what it takes to succeed. Where you directly interact with people in a sales situation, listening should be your number one priority.
Asking questions is the precursor to listening
The best way to start a conversation is by asking a question. This will deliver a response that you listen to and act on. You can then either ask a qualifying question, or tell the part of your story that’s relevant to that point.
Notice I said “relevant to that point” because that’s key. This isn’t an invitation to start a monologue, this is an opportunity to find a point of mutual interest and develop the conversation further. And the best way to do this is … you guessed it … to ask another question! Then you listen to and respond to the answer.
You maybe reading this and thinking “this is so obvious” and that’s the whole point - it is! And that’s why I’m always surprised, and a little irritated when I meet someone who obviously either doesn’t want to, or hasn’t learned how to listen.
Listening is an essential skill in any walk of life from personal relationships to the way we work with colleagues and business contacts.
Listening is a skill that can be learned, but you must work at it. Think about how you operate. Are you really a good listener? Be honest and ask others how they rate you as a listener.
You maybe surprised at the answer - that’s of course assuming you’ll listen to it!
It’s a new year and we are full of good intent, making resolutions we really believe we will keep. But many of us quickly fall back into the comfort zone of doing the same things we’ve always done.
This has been well documented by thinkers and authors such as Malcolm Gladwell in his book ‘Tipping Point’. We often expect different results but we keep doing the same things, which Einstein defined as insanity.
The reality is that to effect real and lasting change in anything is difficult unless you change your behaviour. And nowhere is this more true than in management.
I recently completed an Insights Discovery personality profile which was fascinating. As well as confirming what I already thought I knew, it also gave me real insights into areas I hadn’t previously been aware of. In particular there are sections on how to communicate with me, work with me and manage me.
I’ve done similar profiles many times before but this time I thought about it more deeply. I thought about the experiences I’ve had in the way I’ve managed people and also the way people have managed me. Or maybe “mis-managed” is a better description.
If we manage everyone in the same way, we are not being particularly bright. We have a way of working and we treat everyone exactly the same - irrespective of their personality and the way they think and respond to certain behaviour.
I’m sure you’ve experienced the micro-management approach of someone who literally sits on your back and asks you many times a day (or hour) for an update on a task. The drive people to deliver results but they are generally feared and mostly disliked.
Another style maybe the ‘hands off’ manager who just lets you get on with it. This can work well for total self-starters, but some people need support and close co-operation to be effective.
And that’s the whole point isn’t it - making sure that the right approach is used to get the best from people. The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle was reputed to have said “There is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.” That ancient wisdom is still relevant today and perhaps instead of making resolutions you won’t keep, take a closer look at your own behaviour.
It may just be the smartest thing you do in 2013.
